I miss it. The feeling of emptiness when going to sleep and waking up, yet so much built inside. I felt like I was in control. Grades were perfect, finished my homework early, got chores done, and exercised for two hours. All in one school day. I don't know how to go back. Sure, I was miserable, walking around with barely enough energy to make it through the day, but I liked the way I felt when looking at myself. I wasn't satisfied. Hell no. That's why I kept doing it to myself. Knowing my stomach was shrinking, bones became more visible, and body becoming smaller each day. I want all of that again. I'm hungry for it.