
I don't know how to behave around human beings. Could it be that I was never taught the "cordial mannerisms"? Maybe. All I know is that surrounding myself around many or just one human causes my heart rate to go up. This is not normal, I know. You see, I have this horrible imbalance of chemicals in my brain which causes me to have social anxiety, along with other problematic malfunctions which cause me to malfunction in the real, scary world. My knees get weak. My face turns red like a tomato; others think I'm blushing. I wish I was. My hands start to sweat and shake. My body trembles. It's not even cold. I studder if words come out my mouth. My body temperature exceeds rapidly. My heart starts beating very rapidly against my chest; I can hear it. My mind goes blank; I stand/sit there looking like a lost puppy. I need pills to help get through these kind of situations. I can't get these pills, you see. I don't want to depend on another source that will possibly lead me to another addiction. I want to test my strengths. How far can I go before I finally crumble like a hard chocolate chip cookie?
Let's find out.
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